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Incessant Prayer

by Alexander Nothing

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1.
sugar lake 03:07
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security bill hurricane kill bathmat, tobacco red river, cheesy potatoes this rectangle is blinding until it’s not this bottom system has me in thought 67 percent noah’s on his attempt and half of us aren’t even vaccinated one month ago now you were telling me about your uncle’s pizzeria and how he walked out UDF and cookie dough not the way you’d expect though sugar lake and alien eggs on display I have a third eye and it sees this life will somehow be fine, without you and I always swore that I’d die, that I’d die, that I’d die, that I’d die
2.
taking in sun 01:47
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felt that shock sting cause I’m a single stem I’m on a hundred stems bank of blues and reds handed out to kids gonna flower like this gonna flow with the current and drown for attention, for attention and choke on choking on my own, on my own perseverance and if anything happens, just say it was an accident I’m under all the weight, felt that thing leave the veins in my body the blue in the water and pockets I see lighter shades with eyes open and closed beg to differ, I beg to differ let’s just settle this here I’m slated but authentic, the son of God has got my mothers attention once her interests into her intent I’m her’s, a metal slated virus I’m taking in sun, I’m taking in you, I’m taking in this do you know you? I’m letting out bad shit, letting all the bad shit out, letting all the bad shit in, no not what I meant, oh
3.
brown bear 01:14
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green eggs at brown bear sunshine, that’s somewhere they said I was in a den of sorrows everyones breaking up to fall right back in love I tell you so little as we’re staring at the ducks tilapia, tilapia
4.
pay here 05:16
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pay here for parking but I don’t transition was similar to ones I’ve taken before something for my head that she gave me didn’t ask what it was, that’s terrifying you said “I don’t want to see you in the morning” in a text about a sublease does he pay attention, the one person that sees me walking don’t want no mourning, I want what ryan tried happiness in other places besides sobriety, sobriety, sobriety, sobriety I’m swaying off to the side, now I’m just leaning I’m feeling sick as I lose maxine taste metal in my mouth as I just begin breathing down the hill her surgery never happened playing a game blue and green chips drawn from bags get five, twice until I lose once, then win she withdraws from the night as my eyes stay open I then chip away from this mold that has a face used to look like mine fragments of self skin, of active silence that went with time that went with the wind days and seconds like two vines coiled in a beam I broke it before, and it’s still breaking I sit in this position even when I mention moving I draw out an escape route I get five, twice my mind wanders off I hear her roll over I reposition her blanket then recall how exactly in detail will I be better off detach myself from the end of the bed to hurt myself in private have a status I cover up, come back out in one motion, in one motion, in one motion like a sparrow that’s swimming
5.
hurry 02:39
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a half year with half the hallway in my birth state, it’s a clean slate you came to me I came to you she picked us up and I saw them too your mom is sick and they’re in school fell like a friend from the current caught me standing in an impression of a moment of a moment said you called me begging to do what he did but do it different to do it different told him chase told him how it happens, it happened while his friend ran assuming no way of knowing my experience is seen how I came to love them through a power outage for your question I might have an answer but no sentiments the random pace of which we contribute to our community garden
6.
tenaja 02:09
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I have a heart I’m part of this I’m living life I’m taking bets what’s the chance I could meet your kids? I go to work, come back home, feel what’s missing, can’t let it go It was never yours I take control, get tired fast, take a hit, and now I’m sent call my friends, and stay quiet I have a brain but I’m secluded I can’t think, but I think I’m losing I’m behind the wheel, but I’m not driving better off than my parents I’m never sick but there’s always something justin’s back, he has a mustache I can walk it’s not that far my own mind drifts somewhere far if I am this, what are they? I call my friends and I won’t stop talking I have a heart a brain a body I call my friends and I won’t stop talking I have a heart a brain body I have friends I have a family I have friends I have a family
7.
demarcation 01:12
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it happened once now it happens all the time but you don’t need to give me a reason cause you took me to the beach in Holland when I was seven you were there, you saw it I wasn’t there, I didn’t see it when you left him, the way you saved the four of them, taught them courage
8.
mista 02:19
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she said he was out in talsma, in the perimeter, built in he was offered free financing someone else’s basement asking about the security of their internet, and in return, his intentions that home in mista, he’d been applying in white woken clay, I thought he’d stay here and dwell in the back in quiet orange black slapped with shadows of embers out in byron center back here after april before it started, after it was over, and the months after april my sisters heart tickles I know because she tells me her part of the pact split like in twigs in coral her creeks in clean cushion thank mona for pouring another drink murdered in one basement, remembered in another my sisters heart tickles, I know because she screams “my heart hurts, my heart hurts” in clean cushion I’m searching for a friend I might switch over in sets, and sing this one about beth, what we both wanted and if it was different
9.
off center 01:55
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off center fuck around the front move it up a little move it up a little listen love braided like blue marble opposition now pursuit to appear as my brothers and there’s this pink hue hexagram above all the people waiting staring up at amber so rare, her with patience saw her outside that house on phillips your campus and your college elizabeth mentioned it how we both saw her walking in the middle of the place unsaid, unsaid place feel the sockets see the place near my skull as i see the shadow go
10.
colombia, tn 03:07
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running with runners to tennessee in the summer this node in my throat making it hard to talk mutter goodbye it was four years ago I was covered, but was benign and time passes in little clicks causes me to be upset cry on the sand, fall to the sand watch the sunset with them explain to them how I’m just like them it’s necessary, the explanation, cause I’m not like them and this virus, this virus is making me beg them, seem pathetic this view is making me hate this, colors in that order I’m getting desperate for another angel keep his soul from sinking into kerosene keep his skull from bashing onto concrete keep his love from walking backwards keep him covered in cloth and fabric keep him in the center, in the open keep it from happening what I wrote back in Portland, I know that we’re different, the same but we’re cut in our own ways what I wrote back in Portland, I know that we’re different, the same but we’re cut in our ways I recall the feeling at JFK the initial tenderness of her face and how that changed, how that changed, how that changed without any warning yeah he’s running toward, no
11.
irvine, ca 02:42
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from sierra, funny how she came back to make all this seem full circle to irvine, put together in his mind I know how he feels I’ve seen the pieces and the line come together to make sense in the light sad how I’ve come here to draw this circle in my own image see the shadows in the afternoon, leave the morning in the light leave the morning in the light perform ritual for this audience light the candles when I get their permission house comes on see the thought of them in dark grey cloth belted with denial draped in schedule the bridge before the road yield and clear the space beside my birthday, your three day weekend sierra drives from work while I write about a miscarriage but yeah he’s running from no, toward grace pixelated exit sign on land far from land been on erica breathe in, it’s not that hard redding has his eyes closed too he’s sleeping too she wakes him up erica, erica, erica don’t do this do what I ask you you’re a child I know that but do what’s told of you
12.
last time 02:16
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she’s driving west and me back east where her family waits, asks about me my health, my growth, my home the change in my tone but they leave that check in for their flight, print out her boarding pass it’s the last time we’ll talk about it this eight day stretch was something gave me the context I needed to feel human see him again to meet brandon he’s now assigned to parris island answers in a bullet as I drill him with questions warrior that was with redding a year ago asked for a refund, slept in his car regardless of gravity did it alone, did it by himself
13.
no mark to see 02:22
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i’m sorry for this miller called us with notice nothing’s being used for it’s intended purpose i’m sorry for this condensing all of my effort into partial attempts I’m who I was I’m who I am there is no mark to see on my body I was cast in my life as an understudy and if there’s a vision I haven’t seen it yet I pretend there’s a queue I pretend to be you I blame you for this though nothing terrible has happened yet I make it all up I carve out a block I outline an edge and I stand on it there’s a sun to see in spring there’s a sun to see in spring in spring

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An island of demos written and recorded from 2017-2021

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released April 8, 2022

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Alexander Nothing Grand Rapids, Michigan

Autotomy out now.

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